we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
