All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm sobbing to NWA
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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