Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
