Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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