it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
apparently the secret to your success is patron
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have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
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I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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