oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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