I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
