I'm jealous of your bromance
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
