My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
