I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
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I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
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Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize