You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
This is the high leading the old right now
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
