summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
