3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
