I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
