he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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