I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
