If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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