he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
