There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
