The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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