Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
The ass gains better be worth it
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