I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
