We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
