matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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