Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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