okay pat passed out under dana's car
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
