Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
