If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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