David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
