Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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