Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
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I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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