I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
