So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
