DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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