Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
