The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
