im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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