Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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