i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
