So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
