I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
