YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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