Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
