wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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