I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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