You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
