clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
