batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Found the puke drawer
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
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