I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
