Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
