I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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