their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
