Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
