if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just want nice things and good sex
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
