Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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