I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
