operation have a gay friend backfired
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
