I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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