Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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