from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
