You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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