I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize