Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
