Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
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