Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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