Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize