Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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